learning.

I’ll never forget how my stomach hit the bottom of the ocean on my last flight in early September.  The previous May I had graduated from college and was now leaving everything behind to volunteer teach halfway across the world.  I was beyond nervous but also filled with excitement. My soul was longing for the adventure and newness before me even though my head still continued to hang on to what it could of the past. Everything was new to me and some things were even scary.I'm pretty sure I asked my sister like 30 times if I was crazy.  I can’t tell you how many “what ifs” popped into my head the weeks leading up to my departure, and somehow by God’s grace I was seated on that plane.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me on that plane and that he was preparing me to teach in this country, and that is why I pressed forward. I couldn’t answer every question but he was the only answer I needed to live. What I didn’t know was that this small leap would flip my world upside down and change the way I saw each day ahead of me.

After a long flight, I stumbled through airport and security with an obnoxious amount of luggage and no knowledge of the languages that filled my ears.  The first thing I saw at baggage claim was a Coca-Cola machine. I was elated when I discovered that I could use my debit card to buy and hold something so familiar. And there I was, completely raw and out of my element, with no knowledge of what would be to come or how to live but I quickly learned that it was exactly the way the Lord wanted me to find his presence.  Oh his presence that I learned to find in the baggage claim of an airport, beside a soda machine, sitting on a bag that held almost all of my material possessions for an hour. Here I am, here you are, and I know nothing of this and have no choice but to trust in you.

I saw my name on a paper sign held up in a crowd of people and found my way to its owner.  A volunteer was there to pick up new teachers in his small rental that we tied my luggage to the top of with twine.  As we crept slowly down the highway to keep the luggage balanced above our heads the heat began to beat on my face as I squinted out the windshield to see as much as I could.  The driver talked away about the history of the land, the controversy, and his many years of experience.  The buildings looked drastically different, formed from stone in box shapes, complete with clothes lines and water tanks.  Horns honked throughout the streets while beautiful fruit stands with shades or red, orange, and purple stood out like artwork on a stone cold wall.  I kept thinking “my whole life this has been here and I’ve never even thought about it?!”  My curiosity about the rest of the world beyond my comfortable neighborhood began to grow and it would be watered in the weeks to come. My clothes were suddenly too uncomfortable for the heat and my mind raced and seemed to float among the sounds I heard beyond the open window.

And then we arrived at a strange tall building I would learn to call home. The living quarters were nicer than I expected and very spacious. I began unpacking things right a way to make it feel more comfortable.  I washed the days of airport traveling off and collapsed in a bed facing a giant window that looked out on the town. I had never been more tired but couldn’t slow down my mind for a second to sleep. I just laid there staring out into this ancient world I knew nothing of and marveled at the beauty before me.  And his presence surrounded me, it wrapped me up and held me, and I my friends did not let go.

Today the crazy confusion that filled my eyes now comforts my heart and reminds me of sweet faces I love. Today is that much easier because of the crazy journey that was last year and all the ups and downs. In a few days I will return for another year of teaching but I know deep down that it will be another year of LEARNING.

Psalm 86:11-12

“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you Lord my God with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.”