Plane rides across the Atlantic for me result in a great deal of time to be still. To think. To look back, to cry, to smile, to process all the changes, all the stories, all the places, and all the raw feelings. On the last plane ride home this year I thought that I was saying goodbye to years of relationships and journeys. As I started to run through ideas of things to do in the States I could feel the Lord asking me to hold my hands open completely unlike my tendency to grasp on to any piece of security.
My mobile existence longs to take down roots wherever I am, to invest, to feel like I have a grasp on something, to feel like I can accomplish. I had slowly begun to make my own plans and had held on tightly to them.
A few weeks later I realized that he wasn't just asking me to let go because he wanted to move where I was or what I was doing. You see wherever he places us we HAVE to be connected to him. He was asking me to let go of the Earth and to hold on to HIM. He was asking me to trust him more, to believe him more than I did yesterday. He's asking me to place my roots in him alone. He's asking me to be content anywhere he places me because he's good and his ways are better than mine. "But I just want to know what these plans are.." my flesh cries so often. And then I remember how much he's taught me in all the things I didn't plan. I remember how he has brought joy through experiences I would have run from. I remember that he is the author of life and the perfecter of my faith.
Gracious God, forgive me for my stubbornness and my hands that cling to false security.
Help me to slow down and praise you for where you have placed me each day. Show me how to walk through life with open hands. Thank you for how you have provided and for how you love us.
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